I'm truly sorry for this pathetic attempt at a blog. I've started several different entries, but I just can't write. I don't feel very inspired. The truth is, I've been feeling a bit down lately. I'm not unhappy and I don't want to go home, I just feel stuck. Like I'm in emotional limbo. I'm having fun, but there are things I absolutely cannot stand about France and (some of) the French people I have encountered. I want to be alone, but I don't even like eating dinner by myself in the kitchen and I feel like I'll go crazy from boredom when no one is here during the day. I'm excited to finally be in the classroom, but it's so annying. I feel moody and irritated, and honestly, I don't feel excited about anything. Last night, a French person asked me how to do something, and I actually helped her, in French! This should have made me feel invicible, because I've been the one needing to ask questions. But I don't really care. And I don't really care that I feel like this. And to a certain person who doesn't understand and never can: I do not need to improve my outlook on life. Because sometimes life just sucks. And trying to convince ourselves that we're fine when we're not only makes us feel worse about ourselves because we can't fix the way we feel, no matter how hard we try. This is the hardest thing I have ever done, and maybe will ever do, and that's part of the experience and part of my reasoning for doing it. And I'm not going to sugarcoat it or pretend that everything is "not so bad" when it is so bad. If this blog is really going to be of interest to any future assistants, world travelers, or anyone who cares to know my true experience, then I feel I must be honest.
I could go on and list all of the wonderful things that I love about France, but I don't want to.
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5 comments:
Hi Cheryl!
Please don't let your first few weeks keep you down. you need a change---get a new haircut or style...maybe red, green or purple! Go get yourself a manicure or massage or a HUGH ice cream sundae---something to get you out of this rut!!!! Change France don't let France change you. Be different, try something different, do something different just take a different path or approach on things. Its a culture shock but if you let things bring you down than in maybe 5 months when you look up you will have missed the time of your life...and than you WILL truly be disappointed. Cheryl-by the way, in the states, taxes are still too high, food cost are outragious, health insurance is terrible, Bush still sucks and to think that Sarah Palin might be Vice President some day..and you think you got it bad--think again!!! Love you kid. God keep you safe, happy and healthy.
Much Love Mrs. H
cher-dizzle!
Ah! I have been awaiting a post for weeks. It's good to be honest; so I will spare the whole "look on the brightside" speech...because you know that's not me. However, I do remember a point in time when the only things I had to look forward to were ditching out early on chain-smoker led HIS 102 lectures for lunch at the Cellar or ditching life with the crazies to go to Caribou and passion fruit green tea smoothies. When everything was looking a little like Beirut in my head, I had a friend. You may know her.
Will it help if I sent some of the video clips/pics from Coate Hall? Maybe send you a pic of General Ourumov?
Take care my friend,
Brit
Hi Cheryl!
Hey it's been almost a month and you don't have a new blog up yet? There must be some exciting things that happen in 30 days. Write a new one, pleeeeeease!!!!!! Talk later and keep safe.
Much love, Mrs. H
Hi Cheryl!
I have been trying for almost a month to send you a blog comment and it final worked!!!!! I must go for now because I have to write down--what i just did so i don't forget----so i can write again. Bye
Mrs. H
Hey Cheryl, it could be worse you could be listening to courts magee go on and on and on about how she has a cousin who is married to this guy who knows a person that can tell you the mathmatical reason why france culture is difficult to get used to! Hang in their friend. Not everything is a bed of roses on any side of the planet you are on. You are the biggest risk taker I know who has done something super cool after college so way to be! Hopefully you have gotten the chance to get away from it all and do something fun! J'espere que tu est mieux et content avec tous les choses! Bon courage! Jen
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