Disclaimer: I don't hate it here. It's called Culture Shock.

I'm truly sorry for this pathetic attempt at a blog. I've started several different entries, but I just can't write. I don't feel very inspired. The truth is, I've been feeling a bit down lately. I'm not unhappy and I don't want to go home, I just feel stuck. Like I'm in emotional limbo. I'm having fun, but there are things I absolutely cannot stand about France and (some of) the French people I have encountered. I want to be alone, but I don't even like eating dinner by myself in the kitchen and I feel like I'll go crazy from boredom when no one is here during the day. I'm excited to finally be in the classroom, but it's so annying. I feel moody and irritated, and honestly, I don't feel excited about anything. Last night, a French person asked me how to do something, and I actually helped her, in French! This should have made me feel invicible, because I've been the one needing to ask questions. But I don't really care. And I don't really care that I feel like this. And to a certain person who doesn't understand and never can: I do not need to improve my outlook on life. Because sometimes life just sucks. And trying to convince ourselves that we're fine when we're not only makes us feel worse about ourselves because we can't fix the way we feel, no matter how hard we try. This is the hardest thing I have ever done, and maybe will ever do, and that's part of the experience and part of my reasoning for doing it. And I'm not going to sugarcoat it or pretend that everything is "not so bad" when it is so bad. If this blog is really going to be of interest to any future assistants, world travelers, or anyone who cares to know my true experience, then I feel I must be honest.



I could go on and list all of the wonderful things that I love about France, but I don't want to.

France!

I have arrived! I have much to post, so try to be patient!